You’ve done this before… the coy, inner self-saboteur whispers to me. Yes, yes. How many blogs in am I now? At least a handful. A weakly grasping, clutching, clasping handful all fizzled out to zeros and ones out there in the vast interweb.

There is something shamefully wasteful about creating an online concept and then hacking it away like some gangrenous growth. In my (tentative) defense, I had grandiose ideas of capturing a life phase. You never see what is happening to a caterpillar inside the cocoon. It’s a vile grub and then it’s a beautifully patterned winged creature. There is something in me sickly fascinated by what is happening between, although I imagine it makes for gross and uncomfortable watching.

So I decided this time around to have no concept at all. It’s dangerously floaty and unformed. Fans of Stranger Things will understand the ominous meaning attached to The Upside Down. I have my own version. This is not so much the dark antithesis to all that is good and light as it is the discomfort of uncertainty.

The Betwixt Times.

I’m further along than when I started. I’ve almost 28 years under my belt; dropped a career choice; dabbled in an alternative one; left the country and now prepare to return from Japan. London looms.

But currently I sit adrift in Osaka, head stormy with hundreds of possible versions of my future self. All I can do for now is hunker down and prepare, tap away and watch font flicker up on an LED screen.


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